The Winter Solstice has passed, promising a gentle walk toward Spring.
Hanukkah has ended with the flicker of the lit candles and warmth of family.
Christmas has passed leaving tons of wrapping paper and memories in its wake.
The winter holidays of “Happy Holidays” are coming and going, colliding and passing.
It is the tender time as this year draws to a close and the New Year looms on the horizon.
Soon people will make their resolutions, put down their cigarettes and candy bars and pick up weights and tennis shoes (and kale, don’t forget the kale!).
They will promise to eat healthier, more local, more home prepared meals.
People will resolve to be more patient, more kind, more generous, more conscientious.
They will vow to improve their savings or decrease their debt.
The fabrications they weave will all begin with the best of intentions.
This year I won’t be joining them. Not because I’m anti-New-Years-resolution, I’m actually quite Pro-resolution. This year I won’t participate because for the first time in well over a decade, perhaps a few decades, I have no idea what next year will bring.
I don’t have a plan.
I don’t have a plan and it’s kind of freaking me out!
I’m trying to soak in the luxury of this special time before New Years Eve. Usually this time of year I am planning kidding stalls, crunching numbers, adjusting dairy equipment, planning packaging changes, doing product development.
Things keep seeping in, trying to claim this precious time.
New projects and ideas are not something I’m in short supply of.
This time is special, almost sacred. This one week. One solid week of… nothing.
Well, almost nothing. I’m still getting a little work done at both of my off-farm jobs. Year end is still here. Goats, sheep, llama, dogs and cats still insist on being fed every day.
Did I mention I don’t have a plan? Those little tasks in the paragraph above… not enough. Not for me.
AUGH!! NO plan!!
I know some of you have been watching this space for updates. I apologize if this post is not fruitful for you… I promise the frustration is MUCH more unsettling from this seat.
So, I will take a deep breath.
I will let my mind wander over the moments that have made up the year coming to a close.
I will let my mind steep in the poignant memories. Embrace the thoughts that need embracing. Let a tear fall with those that need sorrow or sympathy. Smile while revisiting the memories that have already brought me joy.
Ah, here it is. The most tender time of year. The sweet spot.
I’m letting go the lack of plan. I am carrying this, the tender time of year, into 2015 as long as I can bear it.
I hope your 2014 is a year you will remember fondly. If not, take a moment with me, embrace this tender time of year and make a memory that will make 2014 a year you can look at fondly when you let your mind wander through your past.
Happy New Year to you and yours.